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<\/p>\nTwo years ago, life nearly destroyed me.<\/p>\n
I was 30 years old, newly diagnosed with cancer, and halfway through my chemotherapy journey \u2014 a journey that doesn’t just test your strength and determination, but also takes your identity away.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I lost my hair. My appetite. My sense of time.<\/p>\n
“Some days, even the smell of the fridge makes me nauseous,” I whispered once, just to the silence. “How’s that for normal?”<\/p>\n
Light burned. Water tasted like metal.<\/p>\n
And still, I thought that the worst part would be the cancer.<\/p>\n
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<\/p>\n
But you know what? It wasn’t.<\/p>\n
It was the moment I realized my husband \u2014 the man I’d been married to for five years \u2014 wasn’t who I thought he was.<\/p>\n
It happened the week before Thanksgiving. Garrett, my husband, came into the bedroom holding his phone like it had burned him. He didn’t sit beside me. He just stood there, his eyes flicking between the floor and the door.<\/p>\n
“Mom invited me on a trip, Nora,” he said. “To celebrate our birthdays. You know how much she loves spending our birthdays together. Anyway, she already booked it. And it’s in this resort in Montana. It’s a great place \u2014 luxury.”<\/p>\n
I blinked at him. My skin was clammy, my arm hurt from where I’d been pricked, and my bones were aching from my last treatment.<\/p>\n
“What about me?” I asked.<\/p>\n
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<\/p>\n
“Um… Look, Nora,” he said, biting his lower lip. “She doesn’t… Mom doesn’t want you there. She said that your… illness would ruin the holiday.”<\/p>\n
For a second, I couldn’t speak. That sounded exactly like Evelyn.<\/p>\n
“Excuse me? Garrett, you can’t be serious.”<\/p>\n
“She just thinks that it won’t be relaxing. You know… with everything going on,” he said.<\/p>\n
“You’re leaving me? During chemo, Garrett? On Thanksgiving?” I asked, staring at him, my stomach flipping.<\/p>\n
My husband didn’t answer. He didn’t have to because his silence said it all.<\/p>\n
He just looked at me \u2014 torn but detached \u2014 and in that moment, I knew.<\/p>\n
He was going without me.<\/p>\n
Garrett stood in the doorway for a few seconds longer, then turned and walked out of the room.<\/p>\n
I heard drawers open and the soft zip of his suitcase. I heard footsteps that didn’t hesitate. My husband didn’t look at me when he came in to grab his charger. And he didn’t ask if I needed anything or if the nausea had passed.When he returned, he hovered beside the bed for a moment. He wouldn’t meet my eyes. I could smell the cologne he always wore when his mother was around \u2014 it was an overpowering cologne that I wasn’t allowed to hate because Evelyn had bought it for him.<\/p>\n
“I’ll call you when I land, hon,” he mumbled, then leaned down and kissed my forehead. It was nothing more than a quick, disconnected press of his lips on my head. There was no warmth or emotion. It was the kind of kiss you give a child that you’ve already emotionally checked out on.<\/p>\n
Then he left.<\/p>\n
The front door closed, and that was it. Garrett was gone.<\/p>\n
I curled up on the couch, fleece blanket over my shoulders, the heat too high because I couldn’t stay warm. The TV ran in the background \u2014 perfect families carving turkeys.<\/p>\n
“Change the channel,” I muttered. “Just… anything else.”<\/p>\n
I didn’t eat. I barely drank water. The TV ran in the background, showing perfect families carving perfect turkeys and laughing at each other’s stories.<\/p>\n
I switched to a home renovation show. No families. Just drywall and paint and a voiceover I could tune out.<\/p>\n
Every time I pictured them \u2014 Garrett sipping champagne, Evelyn bragging about the spa treatments \u2014 I felt a hollow pang in my chest that made it hard to breathe, not from anger…<\/p>\n
But from the sheer, staggering weight of abandonment.<\/p>\n
Three days later, I called a divorce attorney, Ruby.<\/p>\n
“My husband left for a luxury vacation while I’m mid-chemo,” I said, my voice steadier than I expected. I imagined myself standing in a courtroom with a silk scarf around my head and a beautiful pantsuit.<\/p>\n
There was a pause. Then, gently, the attorney’s voice brought me back to earth.<\/p>\n
“Would you like to consider counseling before filing, Nora?” she asked. “Sometimes \u2014”<\/p>\n
“No,” I said, cutting in. “There’s absolutely nothing to fix here. He left while I’m… suffering. Tell me what I can do and how we can do it.”<\/p>\n
She didn’t push. Instead, Ruby came to me.<\/p>\n
She offered to meet at my home once I explained that I was undergoing chemotherapy.<\/p>\n
Don’t worry about coming downtown, Nora,” she said over the phone. “I’ll bring everything we need. You just focus on getting through this.”<\/p>\n
She arrived with a leather portfolio, dressed in a navy blazer and soft-soled flats that didn’t make a sound on my hardwood floors. I half expected her to be cold or clinical, but her eyes were kind and didn’t stare at the scarf on my head.<\/p>\n
We sat at the kitchen table. I had to take breaks between sentences, my body still aching from the last round of treatment. Ruby didn’t rush me at all.<\/p>\n
“We file under a no-fault basis,” she explained gently, flipping through her papers. “In our state, that means you’re not legally required to prove wrongdoing. You just have to state that the marriage has irretrievably broken down.”<\/p>\n
“That’s it?” I asked, blinking slowly.<\/p>\n
“It’s cleaner,” she said. “It protects your privacy, and honestly, it’ll keep things simpler. Especially if he’s not contesting it.”<\/p>\n
“He won’t,” I said. “He left without even pretending to fix it. And I’m pretty sure that his mother will be overjoyed. She’s hated every moment of my illness.”<\/p>\n
Ruby hesitated, then slid a blank sheet across the table.<\/p>\n
“I’d like to document any ways this experience has impacted you \u2014 physically and emotionally. Just for my records, Nora. You don’t have to write it now, but whenever you’re ready.”<\/p>\n
I picked up the pen slowly.<\/p>\n
“I’m tired all the time,” I said. “I feel like a ghost in my own house. I can’t taste anything, and I keep dreaming about being left behind. And not just by Garrett \u2014 by everyone.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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