CONTRAST couples

“I knew she wasn’t 120 pounds, which wasn’t my type.”

WWhen Elisabeth, a 34-year-old lawyer
, first signed up for OkCupid back in May 2014, she didn’t have high hopes. Online dating can be hard for anyone. And for fat women, it’s often downright unforgiving. But when one of her law school friends — who was starting to date again after a divorce — asked three of her former bridesmaids, including Elisabeth, to sign up in solidarity, she figured she would create “the single most obnoxious version” of herself for her profile. She had tried online dating off and on for years, carefully curating the most polished version of herself — to no avail. So, her “obnoxious version” of a profile prominently featured photos of her with her cat. She was upfront about her flaws and sticking points. She was also unapologetic about the fact that she’s fat. She wears between an XL and a 2XL in dresses and between a size 16 and 20 in pants. “When you’re a fat woman online dating, there’s this mind trap you have to fall into with photos — because if you take a photo with a good angle and good lighting and with the right makeup and clothing, you can shave off a pretty good amount of weight,” she told me in an interview in December. “But you don’t get all of those factors when you sit down at the first date and meet them in person.” (Throughout this story, last names are withheld for privacy reasons).

Though Elizabeth took a laissez-faire approach to romance and relationships while in school, as she got older, she began to wonder if she was emotionally “making the excuse not to date and not have to take a look at how I was being perceived by people I was interested in.” Stepping out of that mindset meant approaching prospective dates with candor — while also protecting herself emotionally. “When you really say, ‘Yes, I’m fat,’ when you meet me, ‘you’re going to see a fat person’ — that cuts out a whole swath of people,” she explained.

Fortunately, Chris, 39, an administrative assistant, wasn’t one of those people. When he came upon Elisabeth’s profile, he was taken with her photos: “My thought was, Oh, what a cute kitty. And then I thought, Oh, she’s cute, too,” he told me. “She had a great smile and fantastic blue eyes.” The two of them quickly bonded over cats and Stephen King books and they shared a similar sense of humor.

And for fat women, it’s often downright unforgiving. But when one of her law school friends — who was starting to date again after a divorce — asked three of her former bridesmaids, including Elisabeth, to sign up in solidarity, she figured she would create “the single most obnoxious version” of herself for her profile. She had tried online dating off and on for years, carefully curating the most polished version of herself — to no avail. So, her “obnoxious version” of a profile prominently featured photos of her with her cat. She was upfront about her flaws and sticking points. She was also unapologetic about the fact that she’s fat. She wears between an XL and a 2XL in dresses and between a size 16 and 20 in pants. “When you’re a fat woman online dating, there’s this mind trap you have to fall into with photos — because if you take a photo with a good angle and good lighting and with the right makeup and clothing, you can shave off a pretty good amount of weight,” she told me in an interview in December. “But you don’t get all of those factors when you sit down at the first date and meet them in person.”

Related Posts

A Woman’s Large.

A Woman’s Large.

When it comes to the female body, breast size often draws a lot of attention and curiosity. One question that comes up frequently is: What causes a…

A 1 year and 7 month old girl

A 1 year and 7 month old girl

A tragic scene shocked the community of Rio Novo, in the municipality of Ituporanga, in the Alto Vale do Itajaí region, Santa Catarina, Brazil, after a 1-year-and-7-month-old…

A man who divorced his wife of 47 years begs for her

A man who divorced his wife of 47 years begs for her

After 47 years of marriage, my husband declared he wanted a divorce and a life of freedom. When I, stunned, asked if he was serious, he simply…

Missing girl found in the woods, her father was the one who…See more

Missing girl found in the woods, her father was the one who…See more

The minor was last seen when she left her home in the Santa Martha Acatitla neighborhood to go to a nearby store. According to relatives, Perla Alison…

Girl had to be hospitalized for wanting to use a pe…See more

Girl had to be hospitalized for wanting to use a pe…See more

Teen Girl Hospitalized After Inserting Pen Inside Herself – Doctors Issue Warning A shocking case has gone viral on social media after a young girl had to…

Singer Electrocuted to Death at Concert: A Tragic Accident

Singer Electrocuted to Death at Concert: A Tragic Accident

During a live concert, Brazilian rock star Ayres Sasaki tragically passed away because of a freak accident on stage. The 35-year-old musician was shocked by electricity when…