When a man marries a woman, he does so for better or worse. They go into the marriage with both eyes open and they try to do what they can to make sure that things go right from the start.

On occasion, however, we hear about someone who experiences a surprise when they are approaching the altar. It’s often something that comes up at the last minute and it isn’t always the most pleasant thing to find out.

That is what the woman in the following story learned, and she learned it almost too late. After she found out that her husband didn’t want her to wear white during her wedding, she went on Reddit to get some opinions. This is their story:

I’ve been with my fiancé for 6 years and engaged for the past 8 months. I’ve been doing most of the wedding planning but my fiancé (let’s just call him Ryan) will give his input here and there.

So about a month ago Ryan out of nowhere said he was talking to some of his coworkers and thinks that I shouldn’t wear a white dress. This was totally weird to me. Ryan is a very artistic guy, so I figured this was more about how the photos would turn out or something along those lines, but I’m set on wearing white. I told him this and I could see that he was annoyed but he let it go.

2 weeks ago I finally picked and paid for my dress and this caused a huge argument. Ryan again came to me very annoyed. He asked to see the dress I picked, but I said no because I wanted it to be a surprise for our wedding day. He asked me to at least tell him what color it was, and when I said white, he threw a fit.

I honestly do not see why this was a big deal, almost everyone wears white on their wedding day. When I asked him what color he thought I’d be wearing, he told me I should wear red. Again, this was super weird to me. I asked him why I would wear red to our wedding, and he told me that brides only wear white when they are pure.

For some background, Ryan and I started dating when I was 21 and he just turned 20. He was a virgin when we met, and I only had one other person who was my ex-boyfriend of four years throughout high school. This caused a lot of problems The first year of our relationship and we almost did not continue dating because of how insecure he felt. After that first year, it was never a problem again until now I guess.

He went to his mom about all of this thinking she would convince me, but she’s on my side. So 2 nights ago, Ryan, his mom and I stood in our living room and argued about my sex life being shown in a dress. His mom stated that he is no longer a virgin either so maybe he should wear red too and he burst out crying. Ryan is still stating that me wearing white would be deceiving all of the guests and that it is different for guys.

This all has honestly made me question even marrying this man. I don’t know if it’s just because everything is so fresh but I’m really disgusted by him. He’s not even religious so I know this is just about him still thinking about me losing my virginity at 18 before I even knew him. I just needed to rant to anyone about his psycho this is.

Most of the commenters are also baffled by Ryan’s thought process and agree that this shows a high level of insecurity that can’t be put aside. They say that it feels though Ryan is still punishing OOP for having sex before meeting him, which is nonsensical. if this is how he views virginity, how will he treat any future daughters? OOP is encouraged to break up with Ryan.

OOP doesn’t comment. However…

UPDATE on r/dating_advice

(November 24, 2022)

What do I wear on my first “first date” in 6 years?

I’m in my late 20’s and just broke off an engagement. This is going to be my first date in many many years. We’re going to a nice waterfront sea food restaurant in North Carolina. It’s a beach, but also November so I have no idea what would be appropriate.